


it's not denial (i'm just selective)

by bugitonight (pikasoos)



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Emotional Constipation, M/M, Ong is an overdramatic lump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-23 18:03:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14338047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikasoos/pseuds/bugitonight
Summary: Their friendship is easy, based on teasing, banter and a mutual respect for what the other person can do. So it alarms Seongwoo when his feelings for Jonghyun are more than a little friendly.Alternatively: 5 times Seongwoo is terrible with feelings.





	it's not denial (i'm just selective)

**Author's Note:**

> To whoever prompted this, I’m sorry if this isn’t exactly what you expected, but someday, I will write more ongbugi and do them justice. Also to C, thank you so much for being my cheerleader as I wrote this.

**1.**

They don’t speak to each other when filming starts. Not when Seongwoo’s trying to survive in A class and he’s trying to think of how to come across as likeable and funny without trying too hard.

No, he first speaks to Kim Jonghyun when they’re chosen to be on the same team, thanks to Hwang Minhyun.

He’s done his research, knows that Jonghyun is more than capable of being a good leader for their team so he nominates him as leader of their group without much hesitation. He notices the way Jonghyun’s eyes widen a little, torn between bolting or staying just to decline.

But he says yes.

They practice until they’re exhausted to the bone, and they talk because they’re part of the same team, and they need this team to do well so they can reach the next round, take more steps until they reach the end of this show.

They talk so much that they end up becoming something close to friends in a matter of weeks.

“Water bottle,” Jonghyun whines from his spot on the floor, having migrated there from the practice room a few minutes ago after the cameras stopped rolling. Everyone is off doing their own thing, and Seongwoo has taken the opportunity to hide out in one of the smaller rooms used for vocal practice.

Well, he’s supposed to hide out. It’s not his fault Jonghyun just barged in and flopped onto the floor.

“The water bottles are outside, Jong.” Seongwoo finishes highlighting his parts in Never and trying to hide a smile when Jonghyun huffs a little.

“I’m too tired to move.” Jonghyun’s eyes are closed, and he wiggles his socked feet to prove a point. “See? I can barely move.”

“If you can wiggle your toes, I’m pretty sure you can get one of the bottles from outside-- hey!” Seongwoo is not prepared for Jonghyun rolling right over to him, trying to knock him over like a bowling pin. “Jonghyun--”

“As your leader, I’m asking you to get me one.”

“Wow, that abuse of power from the nation’s leader. I’m shaking.”

“I have to take advantage of getting Ong Seongwoo to do something for me while we’re still on the show, you know.” Jonghyun jokes, and Seongwoo snorts at that, getting up so he can retrieve one of the full water bottles stocked in the practice room.

He ends up grabbing two, handing one to his friend who is already sitting up and leaning against the wall before sitting beside Jonghyun. “You’ve fooled the nation into thinking you’re this kind, cute, balding turtle, but I see right through you--”

“Yah, I’m not losing any hair--” Jonghyun flings himself at Seongwoo, and they wrestle on the floor for a few moments before they give up, Seongwoo panting on the floor because curse his weak stamina.

“Let’s debut together,” Jonghyun suddenly says, and Seongwoo hums, trying to ignore the urge to cup Jonghyun’s cheeks and squish.

“Someone has to make sure the public knows of your misdeeds, leader-nim.”

“Oh shut up.” Maybe he needs to take a walk.

 

 

**2.**

In the end, they don’t debut together. Seongwoo finds his place in Wanna One, the boy group chosen by the nation, while Jonghyun returns to his home, now one-fifth of the nation’s reversal icons.

Everything feels much too surreal, and Seongwoo’s head spins when they’re whisked away from one schedule to another. _Master Key_ is one of those schedules, and he’s lost track of where he’s supposed to be and who he’s supposed to be working with, so it’s definitely a surprise when he sees a familiar face step out of the van behind theirs.

“Hey,” Jonghyun grins, and Seongwoo smiles back because it’s been ages since they’ve seen each other. “Missed me?”

“Of course we did,” Daniel hugs Jonghyun immediately, his large frame engulfing Jonghyun and Seongwoo stifles a laugh when he sees how tiny Jonghyun looks, being smothered by an overgrown puppy.

“Dan-- he needs to breathe.” Daniel lets go immediately, and Jonghyun mouths a ‘thank you’ towards Seongwoo. “You look good, Jong.”

He looks lighter, the strain of the survival show long gone. “Thanks, Seong. I’m just glad we get to meet up here. I think I need some lessons on how to get through this show intact though.”

“You’ll do well. I’m pretty sure of it.”

 

“We’re not all on the same team,” Jonghyun sighs much later, fingers poking at Seongwoo’s white jacket. He’s dressed in a similar jacket, only in black.

Seongwoo shrugs, his hands in his pockets. It’s too cold. “They need to even out the teams, having me and Daniel on the same team would be overkill. Besides, I’m pretty sure Soogeun hyung would rather wrestle a bear than not have you on his team.” He grins, reaching out to pinch his friend’s cheek. Jonghyun immediately swats his hand away, lower lip jutting out into a pout.

“Still want to be on a team with you though. I think we were last on a team together during the concept evaluations.”

“We’ll see,” Seongwoo isn’t sure about how the teams are organized, but he knows that he’s always with Hyunmoo while Daniel is with Soogeun. Two extremes.

“You didn’t answer my question though,” Jonghyun suddenly says, and Seongwoo turns to look at him, eyebrows raised.

“Which one?

“If you missed me or not.”

“I’m pretty sure I did.”

Jonghyun rolls his eyes, and yes, this is definitely the nation’s leader who ninety-plus trainees would offer their limbs for. “Daniel answered for both of you.”

Yes, Daniel answered for both of them because he knows that Seongwoo is an emotionally constipated, dramatic lump of a human being who happens to have good genetics.

“Oh, look, I think Henry-sunbae is on fire, I need to go--”

“Seongwoo!” Jonghyun says exasperatedly, but said person is already speeding towards his teammates.

He’s never been the best with emotions. It just seems to get worse when Jonghyun is involved.

 

 

**3.**

“I’m telling you,” Seongwoo pleads, and he actually gets on his knees to further emphasize his point. “I’m the angel.”

“Oh my god,” Jonghyun looks at him oddly before he follows Daniel back to where the rest of their teammates are, covering his ears to drown out Seongwoo’s dramatics.

“Check my key then.” He insists once Jonghyun’s removes his hands from his ears. “C’mon, Jong. I really do have a master key.”

“You might have _a_ master key, but that doesn’t mean you have _the_ master key that will help everyone win,” Jonghyun points out, and damn it, trying to convince everyone is hard work but trying to convince your friends is even harder.

 

“I can’t believe you,” Jonghyun, mild-mannered Jonghyun, actually jabs a finger at his chest. Seongwoo would find it funny if his friend’s annoyance wasn’t directed at him. “You said you were the angel. You even promised!”

“So this is what betrayal feels like,” Daniel’s tone is solemn, and Seongwoo really needs to do some damage control with these two.

“I’m sorry, guys, really.” He means it, and he does feel guilty about tricking almost everyone, but at the same time, the fact that he managed to pull this off makes him feel giddy. It’s the rush that acting gives him, and he knows he’s good at it.

Daniel drapes himself over Seongwoo immediately, clinging like a very large koala. “It’s okay, hyung. You acted so well though! Pretty soon those drama offers are going to come pouring in and you’ll be acting alongside the seniors. Right, Jonghyun hyung?”

“Right.” Jonghyun still looks a little sullen, his usual smile replaced with a sulky expression. “You did well.”

They usually talk more after that, but tonight the more senior cast members call for everyone to head out for food afterwards, and it would be rude to make them wait for too long.

It’s okay though, Seongwoo muses, he can always talk to Jonghyun later.

 

 

**4.**

The high from winning has waned, but now that Seongwoo has sincerely apologized for fooling his castmates and they’ve talked at great length about the mind mystery that is their show, everyone is as loud and playful as always.

Except for Jonghyun, that is.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Jonghyun says abruptly, mumbling a “Wait, I need to ask hyung something” before leaving Seongwoo at his end of the table. The tone surprises Seongwoo because Jonghyun can be whiny, firm when needed, but he’s never been sulky with him before. Well, not to the extent where he doesn’t want to be within five feet of Seongwoo.

“Did I do something?” He whispers when Jonghyun takes the seat next to Heechul, chatting away while reaching for some chicken. The cast of _Master Key_ finished filming a few hours ago, but they had opted to head out for chicken and beer afterwards.

“Do something to who?” Daniel asks absentmindedly, chopsticks immediately reaching for the soy chicken.

“Jonghyun.” Daniel looks over and sees that Jonghyun is still listening to Heechul’s story, laughing and looking tiny in his padded jacket compared to the other guys.

“I’m pretty sure you didn’t? Should there be something?”

“I don’t know,” Seongwoo trails off; he isn’t imagining things, is he? “I keep trying to talk to him but he’s being weird.”

Daniel looks from Jonghyun to Seongwoo and back to Jonghyun again, who’s currently clapping like a seal. “Well, do you remember doing something?”

“We were filming for the most part, Dan, I’m pretty sure I’d remember if I did something stupid to offend Jonghyun. Which is like making a puppy sad and should never be done.”

“Point taken. You could try talking to him about it though.”

“But he won’t listen to me---”

“Is there a problem?” Soogeun interrupts Seongwoo’s ranting session by placing two bottles of soju in front of them. “Seongwoo, you look stressed.”

“He is stressed,” Daniel agrees, ignoring Seongwoo’s indignant squawks about how he does not look stressed at all. Soogeun nods and sits with them, uncapping the bottle.

“You look like a married man who’s trying to figure out what he did to upset his wife, Seongwoo-yah.” Daniel bursts into laughter at that, and yep, Seongwoo definitely needs a new best friend.

He can feel Soogeun studying him, and he tries his best to keep his emotions from seeping into his face, returning to his own bottle of soju. The burn jolts him awake, and he really needs to be less emotionally constipated if he wants Jonghyun to not be mad at him.

When did Jonghyun’s feelings become so important to him anyway?

 

 

**5.**

“Um,” Seongwoo starts and cringes immediately. This isn’t how he imagined this conversation going.

“What is it?” Jonghyun is confused and they’re in a broom closet for Pete’s sake. They’re still in the middle of filming but Seongwoo’s feelings can’t wait and he just wants Jonghyun to talk to him properly again.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you were sulking that time we were filming because I lied about being the angel.” Seongwoo says in a rush and Jonghyun looks so surprised and god, has it always been humid in here? “I’m sorry and I’m an idiot for being dense but please talk to me because I miss you and please don’t hate me.”

That sounded very desperate to his own ears, but Seongwoo has done worse.

“I don’t hate you,” Jonghyun says slowly, and he’s helping Seongwoo to his feet -- when did he sink to his knees, what the fuck. “I was sulking, yeah, but I got over it that same night. Besides, it’s a mind game and you’re a good actor, you deserved to win. Wait. You thought I was mad at you the whole time?”

Jonghyun’s smiling a little, but it disappears when he sees Seongwo’s guilty expression and he immediately pulls Seongwoo to his feet. “Hey, it’s okay, really. I’m not mad, I was sulking because I thought I could read you well but you’re not an actor for nothing.”

“You do read me well though,” Seongwoo says and he notices how Jonghyun doesn’t let go of his hands just yet. He doesn’t want him to let go either.

“Why do you look like I stepped on a puppy or something?” Jonghyun asks and Seongwoo really did not expect the conversation to take this turn. . “And you thought I was mad for so long too…”

“I don’t like it when you’re mad at me,” Seongwoo admits, and god, this is terrifying but Jonghyun needs to know. “It feels like something is missing when we’re not on good terms.”

Jonghyun opens his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted when Sungwoon pokes his head inside, not looking all that surprised to see them inside.

“Hey, we’re on break for about half an hour and there’s a food… table…” Sungwoon trails off when he sees the two spring apart, expressions guilty. “On second thought, I suddenly can’t see and I need my glasses.” He closes the door immediately, and Seongwoo isn’t sure who sighs in relief-- him, Jonghyun, or both of them.

They’re quiet for a few seconds until Jonghyun pipes up, “He’s wearing contacts though.”

Seongwoo just stares, and Jonghyun stares back before they both burst out laughing. It’s not even funny but Seongwoo feels much better already, laughing with Jonghyun like this and he’s just. Relieved.

They don’t have time to talk after that, with Daniel finding them soon after and dragging them both out so they can actually eat. But judging from Jonghyun’s enthusiasm and the fact that he’s voluntarily sticking to Seongwoo even without the cameras, Seongwoo thinks he’s been forgiven. Or maybe he really has been a bit more dramatic about the Jonghyun thing than he’s supposed to be.

He brings this up to Daniel, who promptly says that it’s both. Seongwoo definitely wants to time travel so he can pick a new best friend instead of the pink-haired pup menace who morphed into South Korea’s number one man.

 

(The talk happens afterwards, with both of them hanging back as the cast heads out to a ramen house to celebrate another successful filming. Seongwoo’s hands are in his pockets, gripping the heat packs Jonghyun had given to him earlier.

“You should never go to a casino,” Seongwoo teases, and Jonghyun rolls his eyes at that, nudging him playfully. “Your poker face is terrible.”

“It was nerve-wracking, okay?” Jonghyun groans and he immediately reaches out to link his arm with Seongwoo’s. “I’m not that good of an actor--”

“You did fine in Their Distance! You practically convinced me that you were a total bad boy--”

Jonghyun’s face pales at that and the expression he gives Seongwoo is one of sheer panic. “You saw that?”

“They screened it here, Jong. It was on the news.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be up to your neck in schedules, how did you find time to watch it--”

“Of course I was going to show some support-- I wanted to-- and it’s you--” Jonghyun stops walking at that, and it’s only then that Seongwoo realizes what he said. Fuck, he shouldn’t have said it like that, where is his tact? Where is his common sense? Now Jonghyun’s going to be weird on him and he’s going to go back to living a turtle-less life--

“--ng? I can hear your overthinking from here.” Jonghyun doesn’t let go of his arm. In fact, he starts walking again, and Seongwoo is floored. How is Kim Jonghyun not commenting on his overall weirdness and lack of a filter tonight? “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were doing a monologue in your head.”

Jonghyun’s right, but he doesn’t need to know that. “I’m fine, Jong. No overthinking going on here.”

“Uh-huh, sure,” Jonghyun doesn’t push, but he does pull Seongwoo forward so that they don’t get separated from the rest. “Seongwoo is alright, after all.”

“I don’t know what impresses me more, that you used my web drama as a pun or the fact that you know about it.”

“Of course I know about it, I’ve seen it. It’s you, after all.”

Seongwoo definitely does not smile like a fool at that. He does not. )

 

 

**+1**

“You really are terrible at this,” Jonghyun deadpans as Seongwoo’s character dies on screen. Again. “Your treat if you lose, right?”

“I knew it,” Seongwoo clutches his chest dramatically, feigning an expression of hurt. “You only like me for my money.”

“That’s not true. Your face is handsome too. And the rest of you.”

Seongwoo snorts, stretching his arms over his head. “I’m glad I don’t like you for your attempts at poetry, because that was a little weak.”

Jonghyun stills at that, eyes boring into his. “Say that again.”

Seongwoo can feel the heat rising to his cheeks. “Say what?”

“That you liked me.”

He’s never really said the words out loud before, has dodged them because he’s terrible at verbalizing what he feels and what he wants, but he wants to try. For Jonghyun.

“Yeah, I do like you. A lot.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first attempt into the broduce fandom and my return to fic-writing after about a year. I still can't believe it took a survival show to make me go back to one of my favorite hobbies. Also now I've adopted groups and I'm a lot poorer (no thanks to YMC) but!! No regrets!!
> 
> [Come say hi~! ](https://curiouscat.me/bugitonight)


End file.
